Treasure and Grow Relationships

This is the sixth in a 10-part series of posts on some simple actions that always lead to happiness!  Read the original post that frames this discussion HERE.

I believe people come into our lives at a particular time for a particular reason.  There are no coincidences in life.  Some people are just better at slowing down and appreciating and being present for what is happening right now.  Sometimes people come into our lives because they are supposed to teach us something we need to learn or experience as we move forward in our journey.  Other times they appear so that we can give them a gift of some knowledge, experience, or perspective that they need in their journey. 

Sometimes that interaction is very brief.  That person may pass you like a ship in the night if you are not paying attention.  It could be a two minute conversation in the check-out line at a store or a cross-country flight sitting next to them on a plane for four hours.  One never knows where inspiration might come from.  The key is to be present enough to appreciate these opportunities when they present themselves.

Where the river of our lives merged back in 2010 in Denton, TX.

Here is a great example.  In 2010 I was driving to the airport to crew a friend at the Badwater 135 across Death Valley.  As my car moved 70 miles per hour down the freeway I whiz past a guy on a touring bike that is loaded down with a sign on the back that said “Coast to Coast”.  I was on my way to a sweet little adventure, but I thought to myself that this guy is really deep into one right now here in the middle of North Texas.  I could have continued on my way, but something told me to stop and find out more about this guy’s story.  I pull over a few hundred yards in front of him and greet him with a smile.  Almost an hour later I am back on the road.  Turns out this guy was one of the most interesting people I had ever met.  Frosty Wooldridge.  He was placed alongside that road at that moment in time because I was supposed to learn some things from him relevant to my journey in life and the transformation I was going through in my life at that time.

Frosty’s Walden Pond of the Rockies.

Frosty and I remain friends to this day.  A month ago my brother and his family moved to Golden, Colorado.  Guess who lives 300 yards away in the next neighborhood?  Frosty!  Coincidence?  I think not!  Serendipity.  I was there to see my family and reconnect with my friend Frosty just 2 weeks ago.  We went on some bike rides, shared a meal and great conversation in his home with his amazing wife Sandy, and did an overnight hiking/camping trip with him and a friend to his favorite place in the Holy Cross Wilderness.  The place was Whitney Lake at 11,000 feet elevation.  This place is Frosty’s Walden Pond of the Rockies.  It was pure magic with the fiery quilt of color Mother Nature had spread out for us to traverse during our journey.

Was it coincidence or fate that hot summer day in Texas a few years back when our paths crossed?  I think not.  I have learned many things from this amazing man who has truly lived a remarkable life.  He continues to inspire me and encourage me to live my life in that same robust manner.  I also feel I have given him some gifts in our friendship as well.  I look forward to many years of inspiration and additional shared adventures with my friend.  The point being this:  What if I had just whizzed right on by and not taken the time to follow my gut and instinct and take the opportunity to meet this person? 

It is all happening Here and Now!

I want to make one other point about building and nurturing relationships.  One has to be fully present and engaged when we are interacting with all the people in our lives.  Sometimes we are too busy multi-tasking or thinking about work or other things in our cluttered minds.  We also allow technology to get in the way.  In some ways technology like cell phones, Skype, FaceTime, etc. can bring us together with people that are important to us that may not be in the same place at a particular moment.  I also believe that it has led us to become insulated and isolated from many of the people right in our immediate presence.  Texting or playing a silly game on an electronic device while at a table in a restaurant is more common than meaningful conversation.  Next time you are in a line waiting anywhere notice how many people are head-down lost in their device(s).  Here are a few reminders about how to be more present and engaged:

•  Turn off devices and all electronics
• Take a 30-minute walk with someone (No devices!)
•  Share a meal or a cup of coffee outside in a sunny spot (No devices!)
• No multi-tasking physically or mentally.  Focus on the one thing you are doing with the person right in front of you at that moment.

One of my favorite places to Be Present….Pendl’s in Teton Valley

Nourish My Body

This is the fifth in a 10-part series of posts on some simple actions that always lead to happiness!  Read the original post that frames this discussion HERE.

 Everyone has heard the expression “You are what you eat.”  This is a statement that people should take literally.  By the nutritionally void food most people eat and the pandemic obesity in this country it is apparent most people either do not understand this or they no longer care.  Both are sad stories.  You only get one vessel to carry through this amazing adventure called life.

Stand in front of the mirror naked.  There you will see the harsh truth about the kind of care  that you have given you body over your time on the planet.  I know the media blitzes us with unrealistic body-type images all the time.  I am not saying that you need to look like a waif runway model or a chiseled athlete.

I spend a lot of time in airports.  I see more people who are obese or morbidly obese than those who have a relative level of fitness.  Some of these people can barely walk anymore.  Most have given up hope.  I am here to tell you that it is NEVER too late.  I am generally around a lot of very fit, hardcore athletes, but THE most inspirational people are the ones who were sick and tired of being sick and tired and decide to take charge of their body and their health again.

Percentage of the population with a BMI above 25

Measuring Body Mass Index (BMI) is a general approach that compares the ratio of height-to-weight.  It is not the perfect means of determining if someone is at risk for a myriad of health problems associated with being overweight.  A BMI of 25-30 is considered overweight, while the range of 30-35 is considered obese, and 35+ classified as morbidly obese.  A BMI over 32 can DOUBLE your mortality rates as you age and the accumulated stress on your body’s systems is compounded.

As more data gets collected the trend becomes even more disturbing!

I also spent significant time with elementary-aged kids in schools across 9 different states in our country this past summer.  The rate of childhood obesity in this country is scary!  In general these kids are eating thousands of empty calories every day and getting little if any significant physical exercise.  The psychological baggage some of these kids are already carrying can be debilitating and cause them to have a very poor self-image that permeates every aspect of their life and what they perceive as their own potential for their life as an adult.

 

Kids should be active outside playing and not stuck in front of the TV

What can we do about this?  I believe each person has to take responsibility for the food that they choose to put in their body.  I know that children cannot control this.  They are counting on their parents to make the right choices and show them the way to a lifetime of healthy eating habits.  We know that big corporation food manufacturers do not care.  They only care about the bottom line.  Do not rely on the government to tell you how to eat either.  Ex:  The government recommends you drink four 8-oz glasses of milk a day.  The dairy industry is one of the most heavily subsidized segments in our food supply.  Humans should not be drinking mass quantities of cow’s milk daily!  Especially the kind with all the hormones in it and affected by the genetically-modified feed the cows are given to boost milk production.  Cow’s milk is design to grow baby cows not baby humans or adult humans!  No wonder our playgrounds and airports are starting to look like feedlots!

This is not healthy for anyone including the cows!

I digress.  I am very passionate about this subject.  The solution is very simple:

DO NOT eat processed foods.  This means everything in the middle of the store that comes in a box or is pre-prepared.

DO eat lots of fresh, organic, local produce.  Know your food grower.  Seek out and support your local organic farm or grow your own!

DO NOT eat any food product that comes from CHINA.  Especially fish, any meats, or frozen fruits and vegetables.  Read the label to know the country of origin.  There are virtually no standards for cleanliness and sanitation in China and some other countries.

DO buy all your food from sources that are 100-150 miles from where you live.  It might take a little effort in the beginning and the geography of where you live could offer some challenges, but you should know the methods of production for everything you eat.  Otherwise, you are rolling the dice.

In general your diet should consist primarily of fresh fruits and vegetables.  Limit red meat consumption and work in a few healthy, clean servings of wild-caught fish instead.  Look for healthy nuts and seeds for snacks.  Drink lots of water.  In all things moderation.  Do not skip meals and gorge at the end of the day.  Instead, graze throughout the day with smaller more frequent meals and healthy snacks.

 

So many amazing tastes and textures out there to enjoy!

And lastly…..Move your body!  Let your muscles and joints and bones know every day that they are needed and will be used.  Motion is lotion.  The more you move and keep moving the better everything feels.   Regular exercise will also help you stay on track with better eating habits, better sleep patterns, etc.

The longest journey starts with a single step.  Commit to one change today, this week.  Next week take another step.  Build new habits and replace old unhealthy ones.  The length of your life and the quality of your life are directly dependent how you choose to fuel and use your body.  Choose wisely. It is never too late!

Wellness!

Breathe Deeply

Breathe Deeply

“Smile, breath and go slowly.” - Thich Naht Hanh, Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk

This is the fourth in a 10-part series of posts on some simple actions that always lead to happiness!  Read the original post that frames this discussion HERE.

Back a few years ago when I was in a very transformational mood I came across a blog that has had a profound impact on me these past few years.  It inspired me to enjoy life’s simple pleasures, to embrace a minimalist lifestyle, and to be present in every sweet moment that life offers.  The blog I speak of is Zen Habits by Leo Babuata.  Here is a link to his blog.  The page I pointed it to lists his 20 most popular posts.  There are thousands of additional post full of golden nuggets of wisdom.

http://zenhabits.net/start/   

The first one I read was simply titled: Breathe.  It is simply perfect.  It is a wonderful reminder you can read every day in less than a minute that will impact your every minute if you embrace it.  Here it is below in its entirety.  Take a moment.  Breathe.  Relax.  Read the words.  Breathe.  Let them wash over your every thought and concern at this very moment.  No matter what you are dealing with in your life it will make things better.

Breathe.

Post written by Leo Babauta.

Breathe.

Breathing can transform your life.

If you feel stressed out and overwhelmed, breathe. It will calm you and release the tensions.

If you are worried about something coming up, or caught up in something that already happened, breathe. It will bring you back to the present.

If you are discouraged and have forgotten your purpose in life, breathe. It will remind you about how precious life is, and that each breath in this life is a gift you need to appreciate. Make the most of this gift.

If you have too many tasks to do, or are scattered during your workday, breathe. It will help bring you into focus, to concentrate on the most important task you need to be focusing on right now.

If you are spending time with someone you love, breathe. It will allow you to be present with that person, rather than thinking about work or other things you need to do.

If you are exercising, breathe. It will help you enjoy the exercise, and therefore stick with it for longer.

If you are moving too fast, breathe. It will remind you to slow down, and enjoy life more.

So breathe. And enjoy each moment of this life. They’re too fleeting and few to waste.

Tip: Put the word “Breathe” as a screensaver or desktop pic, or put it up as a note on your wall or fridge or on your desk. Then do it every time you see the word.

 Thanks for this Leo.  This post needs no further elaboration.  Smile, breathe, and go slowly my friends.

Follow Your Heart

This is the third in a 10-part series of posts on some simple actions that always lead to happiness!  Read the original post that frames this discussion HERE.

There is a long-standing battle waged between one's heart and head.  People who filter important life decisions through what the logic their head tells them tend to be seen as lacking in passion.  Conversely those who follow their heart in the face of logic are seen as hopeless romantics who throw all caution to the wind without a care for future consequences.  Which end of this spectrum do you fit?  One of the extremes or somewhere in the middle?

For me it is all about the heart.  I have not met too many people who have said "If only I had followed logic and what my head told me at the time."  For the most part I tend to hear people express regret that they took the logical or "safe" route and later regretted not going for what their heart really wanted for their life.  This could be in the context of a relationship, a career, or other important area of their life.

I guess it is easy for me because I am a hopeless romantic.  It is the primary filter that I pass everything through.  I am definitely wired this way when it comes to relationships, but I am also this way with everything I choose to put my time and energy into.  I cannot  do a job or any kind of work that my heart is not into and that I do not believe in.  Logically, I could have made some other decisions and my bank account would be the better for it, but my heart would suffer.

Me.  Completely fulfilled doing what I love following my heart.

I have to be true to myself.  That is a huge part of following your heart.  You must know your true self and embrace who you are.  Too many people surrender their true selves to the expectations friends, family, and society place on them.  Go to college.  Get a steady paying job.  Get married.  Buy a house.  Start a family.  Deviate from the societal norms or think outside the box and get labeled a hopeless dreamer out of touch with reality by those who gave up on their dreams.

So what is the reality of losing touch with your heart and being too logical?  It means surrendering your hopes and dreams for what you hoped your life could be for yourself.   Much of my path back to embracing and following my heart has been influenced by Paulo Coelho, the author of the Alchemist and many other impactful works.  This particular quote captures the essence of what I am trying to say:

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.  And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream."

So many people are paralyzed by fear.  In the context of relationships it is a fear of making themselves vulnerable and potentially getting hurt.  In other areas of life it could be a fear of failure or judgement by others.  Allow me to quickly make a few points about Vulnerability, Failure, and Judgement.

Vulnerability:  The quote above really speaks to this.  Your heart will suffer much more alone than it will having made itself vulnerable and potentially be disappointed or hurt.  It is better to have love and lost, than to never have loved at all.

Failure:  What is the worst thing that can happen if you choose a particular path following your heart?  No matter what the outcome you will have the ability to re-start yourself and continue along a path that fulfills your true self in any area of your life.  Fail gloriously!

Judgement:  Those who judge are the bitter ones who have already long surrendered the dreams of their heart.  They cast aspersions upon those of us who still have the courage to follow the dreams of our heart.  RUN, do not walk away from these kinds of people!

I am not saying that there is no place for logic in one's thinking.  Ex. If in your heart you aspire to be a mountain climber please use lots of logic as you plan an ascent.  We need all of our wits to help us navigate along our path.  You can want with all your heart to stand on that mountaintop, but without the right logic employed at the right place you may never get there.

Middle Teton Summit this summer.

Follow your heart.  You will not regret it.

Peace!

Dave